You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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