I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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