Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
