i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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