You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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