whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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