grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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