I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
