White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
