I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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