SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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