My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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