I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have post one night stand depression
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
