its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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