O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
