the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
