he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
