Betty ford says i'm here all night
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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