So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
