soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
