We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
