I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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