had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's shark week go big or go home
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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