So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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