You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
