dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Buhtt sex?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
