I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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