If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
