i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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