I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
worst night to have a conscience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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