Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bring money and cleavage
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
