i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
