woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i would punch a child for taco bell
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
