Will you blow on my dice?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
