We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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