I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
