Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
