Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
