the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
