I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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