that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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