I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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