Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize