Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
