if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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