What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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