new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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