I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
