If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
