I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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