I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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