It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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