The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
