1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
