I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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