Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
