My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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